Quarter to nine

It was a quarter to nine.
& she was laying right by my side.
She exhaled as loud as ever and held my hand as tightly as she could.
She desperately needed me to hold her like no else would.
She whispered in my ear and said “look at me.”
“Look at me, please.”
It was too dark to see but I knew she needed to feel my stare pierce her soul.
But little did she know that I wanted to sprint out of that bedroom door.
Because it was a quarter to nine.
& I didn’t want her to be mine.
She wasn’t the one and she knew it very well.
But she reminded me of myself when I loved the owner of the most beautiful hell.
She needed me to love her with everything I had.
But both her & I knew that I was nothing but bad.
But when she gave up & said goodnight tears formed in my eyes.
Because all I could remember was the time I laid with the devil herself, and heard her say “goodbye.”