Almost a year later…

I watched you dress yourself in the mirror, picking up your hair as you always did, and I thought “my God, what would I do without her”?
Here I am almost a year later, watching myself in the mirror picking up my hair, and I smile to myself, knowing you might be doing the same somewhere else.
I stand there and wonder where it all went wrong.
What did I ever do or say to watch you leave me like you did?
But most of all, I stood there and wondered how you made it look so easy to tell me goodbye.
I had you etched into my skin, and your face embedded into my brain for as long as I could’ve remembered.
I had your memory fall out of my eyes in the form of teardrops, hoping to one day run out of tears, and run out of your memory forever.
The way your fingertips caressed my body in the past continued to bring goosebumps on the surface of my skin, even when I hadn’t felt you in so long.
My lips trembled to feel your kiss at least once more & for months to come, I felt like an addict on withdrawal, needing at least a line of coke to shoot up.
I don’t think you ever understood that I needed you more than you ever needed me.
& I don’t think you understood that I missed you terribly even when the thought of me never phased you. But I stood there and wondered on all the things I’ve ever missed about you.
From your golden brown hair that rested on your shoulders to the way you smiled every time you said “I love you.”
You were everything I ever wanted, even though what I wanted hurt me more than anything or anyone could’ve ever done.
But here I am, almost a year later, standing in the mirror in front of me with my hair picked up and out of my face and I say bye to the small reminisce of you staring right back at me.

Advertisements