Paradoxical love

Love is such a paradox of itself.
It causes happiness when it’s there and sadness when it’s gone.
Love slowly suffocates you, it consumes you.
It eats away at you and eats away at every belief you’ve ever had.
All the things you’ve never done become things you start doing.
All the things you swore you’d never say become things you can’t stop saying over and over again.
You swore to yourself over and over again that you’d never allow someone to know you, you’d never allow yourself to fall for someone.
You say you’ll never become vulnerable.
Your walls remain high until that one person comes along and destroys you from the inside and out.
This person becomes everything you’ve ever desired.
The way they laugh and talk becomes your new favorite melody.
Every single thing they do leaves you mesmerized.
You want to record every moment so you won’t ever forget it.
You never take your eyes off them.
Your eyes seem to permanently fixated on this one person.
Your universe, your soul, your happiness is finally within an arms reach.
The way the sun pokes inside of your window in the morning doesn’t seem to bother you anymore.
The sun pokes in and shines on them, making what you once hated into something you love.
You never want to let them go.
You remember each and every single thing they have ever told you despite of your horrible memory.
You notice the little things that they themselves have never noticed.
They become a part of you and without them you can’t even seem to function.
Love is beautiful, for us humans to experience such a wonderful emotion is beyond me.
Love is beautiful, until the day it decides to no longer accompany you.
The day it decides to leave you, you feel like the world you created has been shot down to pieces.
The song that you once blared down the road together becomes the song that you sit and cry to.
All the places you’ve been to become places you start to avoid.
You try to be strong but know that you can’t continue without the extra push.
You felt like you had it all, and all you had is now gone.
Your eyes no longer shine, and your smile is no longer real.
Your laughs aren’t genuine anymore.
Your nights suffocate you.
You wake up in the middle of the night with your hand clutching your chest not being able to breath.
You do everything and anything to forget but nothing seems to work.
All the time you’ve invested has turned to crap right in front of your eyes.
All the memories you had, have to be set on fire.
You sit and cry for what seems like hours on end.
You hold on to yourself, praying and asking why did it all happen to you.
You become angry and bitter.
You can’t fathom the idea of them being with someone else.
No, it hurts too much.
It hurts you physically and emotionally.
It drains you of everything you have.
It leaves you feeling weak.
You no longer love seeing the sun rise up.
All the things you’ve so grown to love become things you despise.
You turn back into your old ways.
You become scared, you become insecure.
You feel like you’ll be left once again.
Loving someone else would feel wrong.
You don’t think it’d be possible for you to love again.
You start building your walls again, this time with the strongest of bricks.
No longer will you allow to love again.
No longer will it happen to you.
You become cold and distant.
And nothing seems to matter.
But slowly and surely you pick yourself again.
You feel happy once more and you can finally take a deep breath without breaking down.
The sad part is, it’s all temporary.
Love is beautiful.
Love escapes no one.
Love is beautiful but it will destroy you.
It destroyed me.
And it’ll destroy me again.
But love is beautiful.
It’s beautiful isn’t it?
Love will continue to destroy me, destroy me in the most beautiful way possible.

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